insanity

yep. it's 6:45. am. and, yes. i have been up all night.
wanna know why?
well.... i thought i had this homework, see, that i was going to have to do. turns out i didn't, but i didn't realize it until after i had drunk a 20 ounce Vault. hahahahahaha.......
so...
i answered some emails, posted on my other blog, cleaned up some files, ran a diagnostic on my computer, listened yet again to WGAB, because i LOVE IT...
i have decided to eat breakfast today. it should be interesting.
and i have to go to the library.
we'll see if i go insane...
you know... i was thinking. i was thinking about how i'm willing to push myself to ungodly limits, like i'm doing now with my sleep habits, and yet i won't put out the same effort for my schoolwork. heck, i know i have a high tolerance for sleep deprivation, but i also know i have the capability to push myself just as hard in school, and i don't. why is that? maybe it's because i'm burned out from having to do half of a semester in two weeks. you thought Mr. Tison was bad once a day? try once every four hours. any sane person would have shot themselves.... maybe it's because i value people and spending time with them more than i do my grades. this attitude is good to an extent, but when my financial situation rides on my grades, you'd think i would be a little more concerned with keeping them up. no grades have been posted yet; and i'm almost positive i have everything above a C. but C's don't get scholarships... and that's what i need to stay here. it's my only option at this point.
i should make more time to read my Bible too. i am really excited about taking the inductive study CLF next semester, because i think it's going to cause me to be excited about reading it again instead of feeling like it's an obligation. when i get into a routine, i tend to take things for granted and i tend to get bored. it saddens me that i cannot always enjoy reading my Bible. i will admit that there have been more mornings than i would like to own that i have chosen sleep over God. and yet i'll stay up until all odd hours of the night doing whatever i feel like. why can't i have the same passion for God?
what it comes down to is asking myself where my priorities lie and whether i should change them. the answer is yes. the questions are, when, how, and how much? these can only be answered with time. i pray the answers are "now, by just doing it, and as much as is necessary."