burning leaves, burning questions

a couple of nights ago, a bunch of us went to Pocket and created a fire. we impaled wimpy excuses for hot dogs on sticks and burned marshmallows at the stake...
staring into the fire later that evening, i watched as the leaves we piled on the fire quickly incinerated. as fast as they ignited, they went out. how similar that is to many of the activities and thoughts we place on the fire of life... they burn bright and hot, but only for a short while, eventually leaving nothing but massive piles of ash. i wondered how many of the things that i think, do, or say are like leaves burning... what importance will they have later on?
did i mention that leaves smell horrible when they burn, especially when they're wet? it's kind of like burning a wet cat, except less messy.
looking into the coals, i was reminded of the biblical example of coals keeping each other warm. do i surround myself with the warmth and light i need to stay strong and hot in my walk? i also thought of my paternal grandparents, of the bonfire they have every Christmas, and the love they gave me, especially my Papa, when i didn't deserve any, and probably needed a spanking. i thought back to happier, younger times, when my world wasn't as complicated and i could revel in the fire's warmth without thinking ahead to how cold it would be without it.
the stars were so cold and clear that night. looking at them felt like pressing their sharp, bright points into my heart. a clear reminder that of those millions upon billions of stars, God knows all of their names, places, and paths. and yet, with all of that, He knows my name, better yet, my heart, and He loves me. HE LOVES ME.
the last couple of days have been hard. i have been pushing myself to limits i normally should not be able to handle. i am afraid that if i continue doing this, my body will eventually revolt, break down, and i will end up unable to properly function for an extended period of time.
through it all, there is a bright thread of hope and comfort. all of the trials i face, no matter how trivial, are not unknown to God's heart. He is my Comforter, the One i run to when i have no other place to run. in Him i find solace and grace. now if i can only give grace to myself...