up so late...

man... have you ever tried going to sleep at a decent hour, and you're exhausted, your body is telling you that you need it, heck you even crave it, and yet you can't sleep?

i am so totally there right now. wide awake. and not at all happy about it.

maybe i'll tell myself a bedtime story...

once upon a time, there was a pretty little flower. it was in the middle of a big huge forest by a little brook. even though i like the alliteration, it wasn't a babbling one, just a normal one. and the little flower was so lonely because all it ever heard was water running by, and all it ever saw were tree branches. and it was tired of being pretty and alone.

it wished something would change, that it could go anywhere else. don't ask me how the little flower had feelings or the ability to wish; i have no idea. but it did. and then one day a little girl was traipsing through the forest (i always thought traipsing sounded better than skipping. what do you think?) and saw the pretty flower. she thought her mommy would like it, so she picked it and scurried home.

the little flower was so excited to see a new place... what would it be like? the little girl must be a princess in disguise, yes, and she was taking the flower to the royal palace, where it would be admired for its beauty and given the most delicious waters and placed on velvet grass with a golden fountain and people would come for miles to see it and admire its even color and satiny petals... and then they reached the little girl's cottage.

the little girl gave it to her wonderfully cozy and sweet peasant mommy, who put the little flower in a clay pot of the same creek water it had drunk every day. after a few days, the little flower felt itself fading from not having the nutrients it needed and the sunlight it used to get. the little girl cried for the pretty flower, but the mommy snuggled her close and told her that when a flower gets picked it's going to die. the flower was not very happy about this, but since it was already half dead, it didn't have much choice. not to mention the fact that it was a flower and couldn't have done much anyway.

after a few more days the flower was dead, and the mommy put it back out in the woods where it could decay and become part of the soil for another flower to grow in. yes, in case you didn't already know, flowers eat their dead relatives.

the moral of the story is to bloom where you are planted. wishing for something else very rarely gets you where you think you ought to be, and you'll dry up and die much sooner than you would have had you been content with life in the first place

i will be shocked if i read this tomorrow and it actually makes sense still...