Long Overdue

and i thought taking a month to post was bad... it's been seven months since my last post. not to say that nothing important has been happening; in fact, rather a lot has. i just got myself in way over my head and hid from pretty much everyone out of a self-preservation instinct.

i can no longer remember who all reads this blog, and it is possible that some of you may have given up due to my lack of posting recently. to those of you who still read it, some of you already know what i'm going to say, and some of you will be supremely shocked.

i had been seeing a young man named Mitch since about January. in March, we made a choice that should not have been made, but is often made anyway by people my age, and slept together. despite our best efforts, i got pregnant. for those of you that are finding out through this blog, i apologize for not telling you in person. i was ashamed and afraid of the reactions i would get, and as i was not sure what we were going to do, i didn't want to talk about it any more than necessary.

as we were at a fairly rough spot in our relationship and could not ensure that we were going to be able to commit to each other, we decided (mostly on my part) to put the baby up for adoption. we found a couple that we thought would be wonderful and spent four months meeting with them and working with a Christian adoption agency to get everything settled. during this time, Mitch and i grew closer and had a chance to work on our relationship without a baby to force emotions or decisions. we decided to stay together even though we were giving our baby up.

as time went on, both of us individually realized we didn't want to give up our baby anymore, but both of us thought it was what the other wanted, so we went ahead with plans to adopt him out. the family we had chosen, however, was turning out to not be what we thought they were going to be, and we were worried about never being able to see our child again after we gave him to them. we also were beginning to realize that both of us wanted a family. what with the family continually asking us if we were sure we wanted to give him up, praying about it, and discussing it, we decided to get married and keep our son.

Mitch proposed two days after my birthday, and we got married a couple of weeks ago. we plan to have a proper ceremony in a year or two when we can afford one, at which time of course all of our friends and family will be invited to celebrate our marriage with us.

I was due on December 3rd, and am now 6 days past my due date. i never knew a week could feel like a year, but no matter when he comes, my baby boy will be the most precious, wonderful gift i could ever receive. his name is Alexander Ethan, and he will be born when God sees fit.

hopefully soon i will be able to post pictures of his sweet face, and put fun stories of his progress on here. please feel free to remind me to post more often!

much love!