when you come back down

today was my last day for the next fifteen months to be on my lovely Bryan College campus.
i didn't realize, or appreciate, before how beautiful it really is.
this has been my home for the last nine months, and now, i am leaving. it seems like just yesterday i was a nervous homeschooler without a friend in sight, moving in with my teddy bear and my pastel quilt, looking nervously around as mom and daddy left.
the semester progressed quickly, with me beginning to come out of my shell, make friends, and learn that classes are not optional, nor are they rewindable. note-taking became my friend, homework my arch nemesis, and exams the bane of my existence. professors could be the devil incarnate or an angel of mercy depending on one's humility and apparent willingness to work. i discovered places to go, things to do, and people who had cars. Wal-Mart became as familiar as my room. friendships sparked, changed, grew or waned, caused laughter and tears, and gave me a sense of belonging. for once i had friends that were not satisfied with surface relationships, who genuinely cared about who i am, what i have been through, and where i am going.
my spiritual health went through a serious baptism by fire, falling to a point where i could care less about God or church, and i had to decide at that point whether i was going to let it continue to fall, or to fight and bring myself back to following God with all my heart. i am still working on that part, but i am on my way up.
to say that i have changed this year would be an understatement, but i don't know what better way to put it. i have been stretched, challenged, hurt and broken, mended and loved. the ideas and values i hold now have either been strengthened or changed because of friends, professors, and classes. i am learning more and more to value each day, each moment, each person as though i will never see another one. some of the friends i made this year i may never see again. and that is a hard thought.
i have cried quite a bit this past week, for several reasons, but mostly because i am going to miss my school, my church, and my friends, who have also become my family. i feel as though i am being uprooted when i was just beginning to have strong footing. but such is life.
now i must trust God that all this will work out to His glory, that He has a plan, and that i will be able to come back some day. hurray for being a determinist. i love all of you that read this, and all of you that don't. for those of you i won't see for a while, i'll try to keep this thing updated. for those of you i will see... you'll know what's going on as it happens. God bless all of you. you have all had incredible impacts on my life, most of which you will never see or know, but it is appreciated all the same. much love!

"you gotta leave me now,
you gotta go alone.
you gotta chase a dream,
one that's all your own,
before it slips away.
when you're flying high,
take my heart along;
i'll be the harmony
to every lonely song
that you will learn to play.

"when you're soaring through the air,
i'll be your solid ground.
take every chance you dare,
i'll still be there,
when you come back down,
when you come back down.

"i'll keep looking up
awaiting your return;
my greatest fear will be
that you will crash and burn
and i won't feel your fire.
i'll be the other hand
that always holds the line
connecting in between
your sweet heart and mine;
i'm strung out on that wire.

"and i'll be on the other end
to hear you when you call;
angel, you were born to fly,
and if you get too high,
i'll catch you when you fall;
catch you when you fall.

"your memory's the sunshine
that every new day brings;
i know the sky is calling.
angel, let me help you with your wings.

"when you're soaring through the air,
i'll be your solid ground.
take every chance you dare;
i'll still be there
when you come back down,
when you come back down."

~When You Come Back Down, Nickel Creek, title album